The Change of Time and Tide
I feel like somehow I've turned a corner in my life. That's not to say that I find life is easier these days, not at all! Life I find grows harder and harder with each passing year as the veils of naivete fall away from my eyes and my sarcastic skin grows harder. I've never been particularly ignorant, but I believe that loss of innocence at the true nature of life makes you see how stupid you really are. At a certain age you believe, naively enough, that you know everything there is to know about life. Then life kicks you in the teeth, and you realise that you've got a long way to go before you graduate from the university of life. Friends of mine critise my sarcastic attitude on life but it's my crutch, my protective wall. I still have a soft heart, which is why occasionally I get stomped on, but on the whole this protective wall keeps me relatively safe from the sticks and stones of life.
Not, I might add, from the heartbreaks that it brings me. But then I always was an easy target for a compliment and a cheeky smile, mostly they have accesories like commitment phobias and use and abuse attitudes. I suppose it's my own fault anyway, for allowing them in, in the first place, instead of keeping my protective sarcastic wall safely in place.
Likely as not I will never learn, but these days I have a different attitude to men. It's a "gotta be perfect" type attitude, that's to say perfect for me, perfect as in ideal. I'm fed up of being a kleenex to be used and thrown in the trash can (rubbish bin), I want longterm/eternal relationship. If I get my way it will also be very equal relationship, instead of what I've been used to... i.e mother, dolly bird and doormat. I completely understand that the first two come into play in any romantic relationship, but I refuse to be a doormat anymore! Respect in my book comes before love!
So what have we covered so far... not much. Sarcasm affects every part of my life, it's the tint, the dye that colours my view. Sincerity as I may or may not have said in the past is a big deal for me, I respect it because it's a rarity. Lots of people, at least all of my friends are sincere, that is probably one of the biggest reason why they are my friends. I suppose that my sarcastic tint colours those who 'appear' sincere, because on the whole I honestly believe 90% of the people I meet aren't as sincere as they appear to be. So my cynism creeps in and whispers things in my ear, I know a recent study says the cynics die soonest, but noone could live this life without a touch of cynism.
Really, and excluding a minute few, everyone is as cynical as me, aren't they?
Not, I might add, from the heartbreaks that it brings me. But then I always was an easy target for a compliment and a cheeky smile, mostly they have accesories like commitment phobias and use and abuse attitudes. I suppose it's my own fault anyway, for allowing them in, in the first place, instead of keeping my protective sarcastic wall safely in place.
Likely as not I will never learn, but these days I have a different attitude to men. It's a "gotta be perfect" type attitude, that's to say perfect for me, perfect as in ideal. I'm fed up of being a kleenex to be used and thrown in the trash can (rubbish bin), I want longterm/eternal relationship. If I get my way it will also be very equal relationship, instead of what I've been used to... i.e mother, dolly bird and doormat. I completely understand that the first two come into play in any romantic relationship, but I refuse to be a doormat anymore! Respect in my book comes before love!
So what have we covered so far... not much. Sarcasm affects every part of my life, it's the tint, the dye that colours my view. Sincerity as I may or may not have said in the past is a big deal for me, I respect it because it's a rarity. Lots of people, at least all of my friends are sincere, that is probably one of the biggest reason why they are my friends. I suppose that my sarcastic tint colours those who 'appear' sincere, because on the whole I honestly believe 90% of the people I meet aren't as sincere as they appear to be. So my cynism creeps in and whispers things in my ear, I know a recent study says the cynics die soonest, but noone could live this life without a touch of cynism.
Really, and excluding a minute few, everyone is as cynical as me, aren't they?
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