Emotional Spin Cycle

Is it just me? I feel like I've been through some horrific event that has left me scarred and sore and yet I just haven't had a holiday in two years. I'm on the brink of falling down some deep abyss from nothing but backloads of stress. Every little thing makes me break down and burst into floods of tears, I walk around on my personal eggshells trying to not let it show and doing my best not to bother anyone, especially not my nearest and dearest since they're feeling the same way. I worry when they don't tell me how they feel, especially from the male half of them, because I worry it some sort of sign that they're going to leave me. No matter how much I read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray, about caves and wells I still feel like I've just come out of the emotional spin cycle and been put through the wringer. I still get scared that my loved ones are just working up the courage to tell me it's over. But what can I do? I can't just leave for calmer climes, because I have responsibilities, duties to the company I work for, obligations to fulfill. Should I be turning more towards spirituality? Am I an empty void waiting to be filled up spiritually? Yet the mere thought makes me feel like crawling back under the bed clothes and hiding away till it all goes away. Is this normal behaviour? Am I just depressed? Why? I have a good job, a loving fiancè and a nice place to live? What's missing? Shouldn't I be reeling in overwhelming contentment? I know that this is not going to be cured by merely going away, but surely the distance can help you re-evaluate. Nor will marrying my fiancè any earlier make me suddenly happy again, because I'll certainly take these feelings along with me, besides which they say weddings are one of the MOST stressful occasions in a persons life, God help me if I took on one now! All I can do is wait it out as best I can and hope I don't fall off the edge before I get some kind of time off, or I'm not sure what I'll do. Over and out