Me
I know, I'm lax and the zeal that was driving me to write has wained. I've got a writers block and nothing I write seems to have the punch of success behind it. My life in it's fullest swing keeps me occupied with the drudge of everyday life.
What's worse and yet pleasing, is that my younger brother who had shown little or no talent for writing has begun a Bi-lingual blog and it's bl**dy marvellous. Somehow the thought that it was a talent I alone could wield and make a success of, was pleasing to my ego. Now that my talent is dulled in the light of his... I don't know, am I egotistical to want to be better than my sibling in one thing?
That doesn't mean to say that I don't applaud his talent. No, on the contrary, I'm in awe of it. Maybe it's just a difference in style, a style that I admire and applaud with sincerity.
Maybe all I really want is a little credit for my work? Maybe the fact that he excels in so many thing computers, art, writing, languages etcetera, maybe it daunts me to think that I'll never be able to out achieve him? Although, really it shouldn't be a question of competition. But then the question is: For what do I compete? What is this "prize" that I'm competing against my younger brother who has NO idea that I feel like this? It's a pathetic and petty feeling, that no matter how well I do out of life he ALWAYS does better! At least that's how it feels!
My life is as wonderful as anyone else's in this topsy turvy, unorganised and imperfect world we live in. It's definitly no worse to say the least! After all I'm a British woman living in Spain, what more could I ask? I should stop feeling self-pity and start feeling lucky at my own existence.
After all in eight months, maybe less, I'll no longer be who I am! And with that I'll leave you to ponder on my meaning. Further information will be given in due time, but a little suspense never hurt anyone, right?
Over and out
What's worse and yet pleasing, is that my younger brother who had shown little or no talent for writing has begun a Bi-lingual blog and it's bl**dy marvellous. Somehow the thought that it was a talent I alone could wield and make a success of, was pleasing to my ego. Now that my talent is dulled in the light of his... I don't know, am I egotistical to want to be better than my sibling in one thing?
That doesn't mean to say that I don't applaud his talent. No, on the contrary, I'm in awe of it. Maybe it's just a difference in style, a style that I admire and applaud with sincerity.
Maybe all I really want is a little credit for my work? Maybe the fact that he excels in so many thing computers, art, writing, languages etcetera, maybe it daunts me to think that I'll never be able to out achieve him? Although, really it shouldn't be a question of competition. But then the question is: For what do I compete? What is this "prize" that I'm competing against my younger brother who has NO idea that I feel like this? It's a pathetic and petty feeling, that no matter how well I do out of life he ALWAYS does better! At least that's how it feels!
My life is as wonderful as anyone else's in this topsy turvy, unorganised and imperfect world we live in. It's definitly no worse to say the least! After all I'm a British woman living in Spain, what more could I ask? I should stop feeling self-pity and start feeling lucky at my own existence.
After all in eight months, maybe less, I'll no longer be who I am! And with that I'll leave you to ponder on my meaning. Further information will be given in due time, but a little suspense never hurt anyone, right?
Over and out
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